3 Sure Ways To Never Be Happy

“Happiness is when, what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony”

Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness is very subjective and its definition varies from one individual to another.  Happiness can mean :


  •  Psychology=Positive emotions= feeling good, joy, having pleasure


  •  Philosophy=Living a happy life= having a good job, enjoying family, nice relationships


  •  Hedonism= The pursuit of pleasure for its own sake

Three  things will keep you unhappy and unsatisfied in life if you do nothing about them:

1-Not knowing what happiness means to you. It seems obvious but many people cannot describe what makes them truly happy, how they feel exactly when they think about being happy. Thinking that if you get something you don’t have now will make you happy in the future prevents you to live in the present and look at what you already have that makes you happy. So looking for something you don’t know is a sure way to keep you frustrated.

Take some time to reflect on your life and define exactly what makes you truly happy and what you really want in life. Identify and take actions on things you have control on.

2-Pleasing others : If you do things you don’t really like just to keep others happy thinking they will love you more, then you will pay the price: not only others won’t like you more for what you do for them but you can become a victim of abusers who exploit your desperate needs to be loved.

Clean your past and understand you true needs, have them met and make a plan to quit destructive habits or toxic relationships

3-Blaming yourself : negative self-talks like I cannot be happy because I am not lovable, I am useless, I am too old, I am fat, I can’t find a job, I am not a good parent etc.

First allow yourself to feel those negative emotions. It seems a paradox but most people blame themselves for playing the blame game, saying things like:  ” I should not feel bad, other people in worse situations don’t complain”. Truly expressing what you feel is a healthy habit and it helps you identify what can be changed and allow you to be extra care for yourself.

Are You unhappy and feel stuck there ?

About Anne Egros

Zest and Zen is a blog about Expat Life Challenges, Global Leadership, Intercultural Communication, Health and Wellness, Nutrition, Change Psychology, Life Transitions
This entry was posted in change, Coaching, Executive Coaching, Personal Development, self-help, stress management, Well being and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to 3 Sure Ways To Never Be Happy

  1. Pingback: Blog Soup 2011.10.24 A Blogger’s Digest « The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna

  2. Stan Faryna says:


    1. You should discover an understanding of happiness. Physical sensation, feelings, conscience, intuition, reason, spirit, and good authority are TOGETHER good indicators of whether or not a thing serves or prevents joy.

    Be on guard against false happiness, however. For they do not fulfill you. They consume you.

    2. Pleasing others for no other reason than to please others is imprudent to be sure. Likewise, displeasing others for no better reason than to contradict them is equally problematic.

    Because we were meant to love one another and lift each other up insofar as we were meant to give selflessly of the Beautiful, the Good, and the True which is mirrored imperfectly through our selves.

    3. The blame game is when you blame yourself without any sincere endeavor to face, fix, and avoid repeating the problem, mistake, or offense. It’s an easy trap that catches us up when we avoid responsibility, love, and humility.

    Shame and anger are not virtues, but they can serve our conscience. And conscience, however fallible, ever serves as the personal and intimate revelation of the divine, the sacred, and our own humanity.

    Stan Faryna

    Recently on my blog: Luxurious decorations for your castle or estate http://wp.me/pbg0R-sv

  3. Love the quote and it’s so true! In this day of extreme multitasking, we have to keep our priorities in order if we’re going to keep our lives balanced and remain on track–our own track!

  4. prabha says:


    The thoughts are laid down very clearly and as you mentioned it is important to realise now.

  5. Pingback: Happiness-What makes it? « gordopdx

  6. Judith says:

    These are very valuable tips. I appreciate your insights. Not the usual blah! I suggest you put a LinkedIn below for a log in.

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