How To Deal With Your Aging Fears And Move Forward

I just added one more year to my official age last week, look strange I did not feel THAT old ! So I look at the mirror and asked:

“Mirror, Mirror, Do I still look young, beautiful and attractive?”

“Humm …not as pretty, thin and fresh than 20 years ago responded the mirror”

Then I look closer at my face saw wrinkles around my eyes, my hair roots showing their true gray color, some parts of my body were definitively showing signs of aging but I did not really worry. For sure I am not as beautiful as Demi Moore for the same age but she seems to have some troubles accepting her age emotionally (read more about Demi’sย Life after rehab)

For most women there is an age, could be 35. 45 or 55, when we realize that our body is changing and we cannot have the same weight and shape that we had before we got our children or like when we were in college. The paradox is, then we probably were not happy with our body image.

No matter how old you are, how you look, how much money you spend in surgery you cannot stop aging but you can choose between two attitudes:

1-Change the way you define beauty and your feelings about your body image

2-Stay in denial and live miserably because you cannot turn the clock back even with Botox or the surgeon’s knife.

So if you want to age gracefully and enjoy your life everyday for the next 40 or 50 years here the four tips you can follow:

1-Acknowledge that your appearance is changing and notice the true fears and feelings you have when you look at yourself in the mirror and see the changes. Are you worrying about your marriage or your career? Are you scared of being unable to practice your favorite sport ? Are you feeling unsecured when you are with younger people? Do you worry about having enough money when you will retire ? it is very important to be as precise as possible to address the real issues you are dealing with beyond just fear of losing your youth.

2-Listen to your thoughts and self-criticisms, maybe you are too harsh and need to re-write your inner dialogue with less negative judgements. Focus on what you like most about your physical appearance and talk to yourself with the same tone you will tell a friend.

3-Imagine yourself being 20 years older and looking at a picture of you as you are right now,. You will probably think you were pretty good-looking at that time and you might regret that you did not enjoy your look when you had the opportunity.

4-Make healthy changes instead of clinging to the past: you can start by eating wisely, enjoy physical activities, invest in an image consultant who can help you choose the best color to wear and styles, helps with make-up and your hair. Once I coached a client who did a re-looking after she made big changes in her life and the transformation was amazing. Her new outside look was aligned with her new feelings and thoughts about herself.

How about you ?

    • Are you worrying or desperate about aging ?
    • When old is too old for you?
    • Are you ready to go to surgery to get flatter belly or less wrinkles ?


About Anne Egros

Zest and Zen is a blog about Expat Life Challenges, Global Leadership, Intercultural Communication, Health and Wellness, Nutrition, Change Psychology, Life Transitions
This entry was posted in American Culture, Life coaching, Personal Development, self-help, stress management, Well being, Women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to How To Deal With Your Aging Fears And Move Forward

  1. Pingback: How to Cope Up with Aging | Affinity Caretaker, Inc.

  2. I would love to see us- Americans- become more accepting of the aging process. Starting with Hollywood. When I was working, women of a certain age dyed their hair however, in my industry, women were respected for brains not beauty. However, outside of the work environment, things change right? In other countries I notice women are much more accepting of the aging process. Your post is spot on- exactly what are you afraid of. I`m more afraid of looking ridiculous after a procedure.

  3. I am not disclosing my age, ever. “You are as young as you feel.”

    Whether you look that part and act the part, that’s up to you.
    Congratulations on another year!

    Believe me, men are as obsessed about how they look as women are.

  4. Hi Anne,

    Interesting post – also interesting is that people can feel age kicking in regardless of what their actual age is –

    I won’t give away mine, but I am closer to 30 than 40, but a few months ago I felt more like 50. I’m glad I was able to get past that trying time for me, but you are so right – fears and feelings can happen any time.

    Thanks Anne!


  5. Great advice! With physical change we must also accept a change in our perspective to truly adapt and continue to grow.

  6. Coach Mi says:

    Hi Anne, I believe you are right when you say that aging concerns are usually a symptom of fears and feelings about deeper issues. If we take the time to acknowledge and explore these fears, perhaps aging will become less of a concern. I find it interesting though that this is more of a problem with women than with men!

    I turned 40 recently and found myself having to re-think what I consider old, having spent so many years thinking 40 was old!

    Happy birthday!

  7. Bill Lowell says:

    Nice post Anne. In America we tend to give 24/7 attention to beauty, weight, age, etc. As a loving husband I hear a lot about the things my loved ones wish were different. My best suggestion to them is to try to focus their energy on the positive things they are doing and are going to do (eating healthy, exercising, and so on) to keep feeling their best, rather than using that energy to mock themselves. We are all beautiful on this earth and focusing on making ourselves better and helping others is what makes the world go ’round.

  8. Mallie Dein says:


    I have my second birthday in my 40’s this June and I’m actually quite happy with things. Sure, I don’t look like I did when I was 19. But I exercise, try to eat well and I still enjoy friends, family and activities like mountain biking and tennis. It’s a cliche, but it’s also true. Age is just a number. We can overanalyze that number or just accept that numbers tend to keep going up!


    • Hi Mallie, Thanks. I think too that people who want to stay young forever have difficulties to grow and accept who they are and often get disappointed when surgery does not bring them happiness or love they expect because their look is not the real issue, the problem is in their mind.

  9. thesmartexpat says:

    Hope you had a great birthday Anne! For the record, you look fantastic ๐Ÿ™‚

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