All men die, but not all men really live~William Wallace
This is a very serious subject and I would like you to think about it. Do you really live the life you want? Are your compromising your dreams to meet someone ‘else agenda. Do you think you had no choice so you live a life you do not enjoy fully? Do you simply take time to explore your dreams before you are too old or too sick to make them true ?
Bronnie Ware worked for many years in palliative care. Her patients were those who had gone home to die. On their dying bed, when questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, five common themes surfaced. I am going to list those top 5 regrets and put some personal comments for you to think about it
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. It’s important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. It’s too late once you lose your health. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
For years I have kept a journal where I write my dreams, small or big, without checking if they are feasible or not. This exercise helps you being conscious of what you passionately want, I check it regularly and add new ones but I am always amaze to see I have achieved some of my dreams almost effortlessly as they were in my mind when choices had to be made.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. We sacrifice our Youth, Health, Time and Love for money and other materialistic things yet those most precious things cannot be bought with money. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Being able to recognize and express your negative emotions such as anger, resentment, frustration and communicate your worries and doubts safely with friends or family members is certainly helping reducing stress. Chronic (long-term) stress caused by stressful situations or events that last over a long period of time can trigger health problems. If you already have a health problem, stress can make it worse.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Being part of a community, helping others having a cause you stand for all this make your life richer, giving has healing power when it is done unconditionally.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Guilt is often the emotion that prevent you from being truly happy. Be incredibly selfish, have your own needs met first because you cannot really help others if you feel miserable, you cannot truly love if you do not love yourself.
To read more about this article Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Grief and Loss – AARP
Hope that sharing this article with you will help you to never have regrets
Many of you made your New Year Resolutions with enthusiasm, thinking this New Year will be different, that you will quit bad habits, lose weight, exercise, attend a language class or whatever, But did you really think deeply if this is what YOU want ? Do you want to please others ? Do you spend time on somebody else’s agenda ? Do you have the motivation, discipline time and other resources to achieve your goals ? I guess you may have chosen your usual new year resolutions without thinking as a whole person, with finite resources such as time, money and specific support.
In 2012, do you want to simplify your life and implement processes or habits that last more than a couple of weeks after New Year? Here are two simple steps you can take that will give you guidance and makes you spending your efforts on activities that really matters to you.:
Step One: Identify Your Priorities:
Identify your current level of satisfaction for each area in the wheel and connect the dots. Then think about things you really want to improve and develop. Please note that a balanced life does not require that you dedicate equal amounts of time to each little piece of your life. Balance is about taking care of all of you and all of what is important to you. That means that you must make time to invest in your self-care, define what matters to you, and allow yourself to be busy with those activities. Once you selected the categories you want to develop, Think about what a 7 a (Satisfied/Fulfilled) would look like for each one you selected ex. Fitness: enjoy going to the pool once a week and indoor biking 1 hour. Be specific, realistic, make sure you have time and energy or other resources like money or partner. Avoid the “should” or the “have to”. Then select only 3 goals to focus on with actions to reach a 7 in your top priorities (you can have multiple goals in one area).
Step Two : Managing your Resource of Time
The process of using your time effectively becomes possible when you begin to view it as a commodity that you have the choice to spend—or invest. When you invest, you essentially allocate your resources to something you believe will give you a positive return.
Do you view your time with as much consideration as you view your money?
I would bet that you would not burn a dollar bill. Yet, you may be willing to burn through an hour of your time based on someone else’s demands. You need a system connecting your priorities and managing your calendar. There is an excellent method developed by Steven Covey in his book : “First Things First ” See bellow his tool to classify your weekly TO DO list before planning time in your calendar. The idea it to focus on the important things that contribute the most to reaching your goals (Quadrant II) implementing processes and habits to anticipate the urgent and Important (Quadrant I) such as having an automatic bill payment system online for example. You also need to reduce time spent on non important things or quit bad habits that are wasting your time.
If you decide to quit a bad habit, always compensate by an activity you really enjoy that gives you more rewards and fun than the bad behavior.
For example replacing what I call “Pavlovian Tweeting or Facebooking ” by meeting friends outside for hiking or walking. This woks for me, It is fun, good for my health and great to meet new people in my neighborhood.
IF you really want to get the LIFE you enjoy and deserve without the struggle, start working today on identifying your priorities and select your 3 most important goals, make an action plan for each and decide how much time to allocate for each activities on a weekly basis.
If you need some clarification how to use those tools or help you set your goals, please do not hesitate to contact me for a FREE, no obligation, REAL coaching Session:Click HERE
If you have a blog:
- What were your 11 most read posts in 2011 ? See table
- Do you think those most read posts reflect your expertise or interests? I think I do
- Do you write for your audience or for yourself first and then see what sticks ? Both
- Do you have a content strategy ? Yes but need more interactive content
Please share your own comments
Here my top 11 Most Read Posts in 2011(click on the link to read the article)
Why don’t you make a similar compilation in your blog and post the link here in the comment section? It is shameless promotion for your blog and we can cross-post feedback about the posts-thank you,
Executive coaching had bad rap for years when having a coach was considered as the first step toward the exit of the company. Today it is considered as a privilege to have an executive coach and many successful executives have a coach helping them being aware of their behaviors and impact on their interpersonal communication for constantly inspire others and deliver great results.
However there are certain situations when hiring a coach is only delaying the inevitable, terminating the executive.
Here the 3 main reasons for NOT hiring an executive coach:
1- The executive is not a role model. In my previous post I talk about how leaders must be able to influence others by walking their talking and being who they truly are to inspire followers . Some personalities simply cannot fit in the leadership functions or with such a huge energy that it is the recipe for failure. Nobody can change a person into someone she is not. Being the best player in a team doesn’t make you the best leader of the team.
2-Drastic changes in the economic environment. Successful executives during economic growth periods know how to constantly innovate, improve processes, make strategic alliances and acquisitions, watch the competition, anticipate for potential disruptive technologies, adjust goals and strategy to keep a competitive edge and make sure not to become obsolete. However when the economy is slowing down and businesses are declining some leaders cannot evolve. An executive coach is not a consultant even if this person has great technical knowledge, the coach do not have the answers and cannot be an extra brain to compensate lack of strategic thinking or vision so hiring an executive coach won’t solve the problems.
3-Lack of Integrity and misconduct. When the reputation of the company is at stake because of an executive misconduct such as sexual harassment for example. It is typically the kind of crisis when PR and HR departments together with the general counsel must react quickly and appropriately. This is beyond the competences of an executive coach.
Executives and Coaches, Please share your coaching stories: The good, the bad and the ugly
Have you Ever Work With A Professional Coach ?
Was It Fun and Effective ?
If you answer NO, Maybe it is time to work with a TRUE professional coach: