How To Free Yourself To Grow


 

I read this article from the blog “Zen Thinking” :  you only lose what you cling to  and it suggested to me that there is no concept of loss if there’s no act of clinging,  leading to another idea that you have to lose something to gain something.

This apply not only to material possessions, but also to beliefs and thoughts we have in our minds that don’t serve us anymore and hold us back.

So practically what does it mean ? The idea is first to find what we need to drop in our life to improve our wellbeing in general and to give room to make healthier habits.

Here some tips to start:

1-Get Rid of Old Stuff : Possessions take up space and energy in our minds and in our homes. Every time you buy something new, let go of something old by giving it away, or toss it out. By letting go of things from the past, you can live more fully in the present.

2-Focus On Yourself: When we are afraid and insecure, we may feel a need to cling to and control those who are closest to us. Clinging to expectations of how others should act can trigger anger and stress. Instead, focus on yourself, find ways to nurture and center yourself so that you feel independent and strong, allow others to be who they need to be.

3-Meditate Regularly: When we get stressed out, we tend to hold our breath. This makes us even more anxious. When we meditate we release the breath and allow it to flow fully and deeply. Then you will feel more relaxed, open, and spontaneous.

4-Be Positive. When we cling to negative thoughts, emotions, or memories, we spiral into destructive habit patterns. By replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, you create a harmonious space for yourself and others.

5-Forgive. Let go of painful memories from your past. Free yourself by offering forgiveness to those who have hurt you and to yourself.

6-Enjoy The Process. In our pursuit for “more”, we often shift away from our current state of equilibrium and we let the results of our actions be our motives. We try so hard to be perfect, that we cling to outcomes we want to measure instead of enjoying the process itself . Do your best and then remember to release—physically, mentally, emotionally. Let go and stay open to guidance from within.

7-Be generous. Expand your capacity to stretch yourself. Share your time, your energy, your knowledge, your attention, your connections. Donate. Volunteer. Give in whatever way you can.

8-Practice Non-Attachment: Non-attachment is a state of mind that will help you both in times of joy and sorrow. We cling to pleasure, hoping that it will never leave, and we are overwhelmed by pain, fearing that it will never end. By practicing non-attachment, we become able to endure difficult moments, knowing that—as a wise saying goes—this too shall pass.

 

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How to breakup with your old self after a major life transition


Significant life transitions, such as moving to a new city or a new country, becoming a parent or retiring, can be exciting, exhilarating and giving you a chance to grow.  Yet transitions, even positive ones, can also be stressful and bring up mixed feelings.

Breaking up with yourself is hard, yet necessary: In transitions, you’re breaking up with who you were during that time of your life. You’re not only leaving a place and a season in life behind, but you’re also leaving a version of you.

In life transitions, feeling strangely abnormal becomes the new normal.

So right now, if it feels like you’re going through an identity crisis it’s probably because you most definitely are.

The only way to truly own your life is to take responsibility for it. Sometimes things happen and there is no logical explanation, and it doesn’t need to be anyone’s fault. Finger-pointing and blaming doesn’t take away from what happened or change the facts. In fact, it keeps you living in the past by dwelling

Control, perfectionism, micro-managing. If it serves you, that’s great. Truth is I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t drive herself crazy over it.

I refer to control as a ‘losing game’. It’s perfectly natural to desire that certain things happen in a certain way, but when we create requirements that everything happens according to plan (requirements to be happy, to feel successful, to feel good about ourselves), that’s when it backfires. And it’s only because we will never truly be able to control everything and everyone in our lives. It’s an impossibility. But we do have the power to influence ourselves and our lives to our greatest abilities.

Happiness stems from freedom, not control. But we can only feel truly free when we have the ability to choose. Restrictions and control are the polar opposite of freedom.

Breaking up with OLD_YOU starts with self-awareness.

Your inner self-talk determines what you say, what you do, and how you feel every single day. Influencing it is one of the most powerful things you can do to influence your life.

If you can identify when you are talking to yourself about yourself through the eyes of guilt, shame, blame, control, or comparison, and start talking to yourself like you would your own best friend (with acceptance, compassion, and understanding), your life is going to completely change.

Transitions never occurs in a vacuum. It Involves people at every turn.

Part of transitioning well means being mindful of the process involved in saying good-bye. If we give ourselves the time and space to say good-bye well we are freer at our destination to say hello with our whole hearts. Same principle applies when you have to say goodbye to your old self.

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The Opposite Principle


Of course it is not that simple to implement but it is a good start to identify what works best for you and keep doing it and stop what doesn’t work.

For more advice read the article :  The Costanza Principle: Better Decisions Through Your Inner Contrarian ( Original article published in 2014 in lifehacker.com written by Thorin Klosowski )

insanity

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results-Albert Einstein

 

 

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Health Benefits of Nordic Walking


Modern lifestyle, with its lack of everyday physical activity and exercise training, predisposes people to chronic diseases such as diabetes. In this article discover the multiple benefits of Nordic Walking. 

This is the first article of this new blog dedicated to staying fit and healthy in Tokyo from an expat experience.

Sourced through Scoop.it from: tokyointernationalnordicwalking.wordpress.com

Share your insight

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Is Expatriation an Addiction?


The last few decades has seen more and more people taking up a corporate expatriate posting, with all of the benefits and challenges an expatriation can bring.

Sourced through Scoop.it from: www.communicaid.com

After 25 years of expatriation, experiencing very different cultures such as Japan, United States or Russia,  I think I fit very well with the definition of an enthusiastic expatriate in this interesting article published by Communicaid : I feel comfortable almost anywhere.

I consider myself a successful “serial” expatriate and I think the following characteristics are very important :

1-Curiosity with a thirst for experiencing “otherness”

2 Humility with willingness to learn different ways of thinking

3-A strong family with high resilience and an adventurous spirit

4- Deep knowledge about who you are,  your strengths, weaknesses

5-Creativity and flexible attitude toward new challenges

6- Not afraid to step out of your comfort zone

7-Future oriented mindset

If expatriation is an addiction then by definition it means you can’t stop moving even if it would be reasonable to settle down. Sometimes this is called the  “Three Year Syndrome”: some expats, get bored, after 3 years, especially if they have no other job than being an expat partner and did not blend with the local culture by establishing a network of local friends.

There is another reason why some expats move so often: with the globalization and the development of virtual teams, with some exceptions, there is no need to have long term expats once the knowledge transfer has been done. There is also more and more people who work abroad  who are not sent by big multinational companies but hired locally. The problem is then to find ways to keep a job until you can retire.  Most of the time those people are forced to move to other countries where they can transfer their unique skills.

What type of expat are you ?

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Global Leadership: Fitting in, without giving in


Adapting your leadership style to a different cultural setting can be tough, especially when the new setting demands a style different from how you would normally and comfortably behave at home. So how do you adapt your leadership behavior across cultures without losing yourself in the process?

Great article: Source: di.dk

It is not always wise to follow the advice : “In Rome do like Romans do ” because you are not a Roman and therefore the expectations people have about you are conditioned by their own bias and stereotypes and what they think about your culture.

Global dexterity is the capacity to adapt your behavior, when necessary, in a foreign cultural environment to accommodate new and different expectations that vary from those of your native cultural setting.

Watch also the interview of Andy Molinsky, Author of “Global Dexterity” :https://hbr.org/video/2363497345001/reaching-across-cultures-without-losing-yourself

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5 Ways Your Brain Is Tricking You into Being Miserable


Everyone wants to be happy, but the biggest obstacle to that is the mushy thing inside your skull that you think with.

Source: www.cracked.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The brain is designed to put more weight on negative thoughts than on positive ones. This imbalance takes us away from experiencing positive emotions such as joy, gratitude or hope.

Having positive emotions helps us become relaxed, playful and learn new skills more easily.

However, it is important to have a certain amount of negative emotions to be able to be creative and resilient.

 

Related references:

Perception and Behavior: How To Stimulate Creativity

 Updated Thinking on Positivity Ratios Barbara L. Fredrickson

 

 

 

 

 

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