Category Archives: change

How to breakup with your old self after a major life transition


Significant life transitions, such as moving to a new city or a new country, becoming a parent or retiring, can be exciting, exhilarating and giving you a chance to grow.  Yet transitions, even positive ones, can also be stressful and bring up mixed feelings.

Breaking up with yourself is hard, yet necessary: In transitions, you’re breaking up with who you were during that time of your life. You’re not only leaving a place and a season in life behind, but you’re also leaving a version of you.

In life transitions, feeling strangely abnormal becomes the new normal.

So right now, if it feels like you’re going through an identity crisis it’s probably because you most definitely are.

The only way to truly own your life is to take responsibility for it. Sometimes things happen and there is no logical explanation, and it doesn’t need to be anyone’s fault. Finger-pointing and blaming doesn’t take away from what happened or change the facts. In fact, it keeps you living in the past by dwelling

Control, perfectionism, micro-managing. If it serves you, that’s great. Truth is I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t drive herself crazy over it.

I refer to control as a ‘losing game’. It’s perfectly natural to desire that certain things happen in a certain way, but when we create requirements that everything happens according to plan (requirements to be happy, to feel successful, to feel good about ourselves), that’s when it backfires. And it’s only because we will never truly be able to control everything and everyone in our lives. It’s an impossibility. But we do have the power to influence ourselves and our lives to our greatest abilities.

Happiness stems from freedom, not control. But we can only feel truly free when we have the ability to choose. Restrictions and control are the polar opposite of freedom.

Breaking up with OLD_YOU starts with self-awareness.

Your inner self-talk determines what you say, what you do, and how you feel every single day. Influencing it is one of the most powerful things you can do to influence your life.

If you can identify when you are talking to yourself about yourself through the eyes of guilt, shame, blame, control, or comparison, and start talking to yourself like you would your own best friend (with acceptance, compassion, and understanding), your life is going to completely change.

Transitions never occurs in a vacuum. It Involves people at every turn.

Part of transitioning well means being mindful of the process involved in saying good-bye. If we give ourselves the time and space to say good-bye well we are freer at our destination to say hello with our whole hearts. Same principle applies when you have to say goodbye to your old self.

The Opposite Principle


Of course it is not that simple to implement but it is a good start to identify what works best for you and keep doing it and stop what doesn’t work.

For more advice read the article :  The Costanza Principle: Better Decisions Through Your Inner Contrarian ( Original article published in 2014 in lifehacker.com written by Thorin Klosowski )

insanity

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results-Albert Einstein

 

 

7 psychological reasons for diet failure


healthHealth

Do you keep failing to lose weight? Your mindset might be preventing successful weight loss. Find out how to change this.

Source: low-carb-support.com

This apply to any kind of change, not only for loosing weight :

We all don’t like discomfort and change is about making you uncomfortable, so embrace it rather than trying to avoid the pain.

No pain no gain: yes if you want changes that last you will have to give up some things you really enjoy but the key is to replace habits that don’t serve your goals by new habits you equally enjoy

Focus on the process rather than on the end results, nothing is happening overnight.

Check if you are mentally and physically equipped to make the changes you need. It is better to postpone starting a change project if it is not the right timing rather than trying for a couple of days or week, failing and blaming yourself for lack of will power. It will sure make your self-esteem goes down

Have Your Made New Year Resolutions ?

Visit Our Page What Is Coaching ?

Contact Me If you Think Coaching is What You Need To Succeed !

See on Scoop.itGreat Life Coaching

Expat Life: Culture Shock May Be Inevitable But Pain Is Optional


cultureshock

At one point or another new expats will get a “lecture” about “Culture Shock” as it is explained in this video:

Not every expats experience that sequence of emotional reactions and saying this is “normal” is not removing the pain or discomfort. Often people who do not experience this “one size fits all” approach may feel “abnormal” or less competent than typical expats and sometimes think they are a failure not able to cope with their struggles while living abroad.

It is important to acknowledge first the feelings without judgement and then look at individual best coping strategies. You can’t change things you have no control about but you can change the way you think and from a new perspective make necessary changes to get the most of your expatriation.

Sometimes friends are not enough and it is important to allow yourself to find professional help.

If you need someone to deeply listen to you and help you solve issues you have as an expatriate, Please Send Me Your Message  for a complimentary coaching session

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What is Bio Leadership ?


Not another change initiative? Some ideas on how change really works and implications for leaders. (See on www.slideshare.net )

Anne Egros‘s insight: Great presentation!

What’s new about leadership ?

No more top down approach. Leaders must deal with rapidly evolving times in the era of social networks, tribes, multiple locations, identities and cultural diversity.

Senior managers won’t overcome established routines and competing interests by giving lectures. More than ever, we are talking about revolution, no more quiet evolution and leaders must be part of the system, feel it and find links among smaller groups randomly distributed in the organization to get enough momentum for change.

Viral leaders think organizations are like a human body, they strategically  “infect” the network with suggestions via the right people. New ideas usually start from small groups of early adopters and then spread in the whole system when it is clear that new behaviors and new processes have meaning and benefits.

For me the next level of evolution of viral leadership is “bio leadership” using ideas as stem cells that have the potential to become any type of cell in the body. One of the main characteristics of stem cells is their ability to self-renew or multiply while maintaining the potential to develop into other types of cells. With stem cells, the body does not recognize them as “external objects” like viruses.

Bio leaders need to identify and enable agents of change, rule breakers and other creative people in various groups within the organization itself so immunity and resistance to change is minimized. Then those people can not only spread new ideas but also help develop highly personalized solutions for different types of challenges such as launching a new product in different countries and cultures.

See on www.slideshare.net

Age 5: Your First Career Mistake


See on Scoop.itInternational Career

Watch this video and learn why you need to go back to being a kid if you want to find real career happiness!

Anne Egros‘s insight:

What did you answer when you was a kid to this question : What do you want to be when your grow up ?

Most of the time your answer was to please and impress the adults that counted most in your life.

As adults, chances are high that we pursue a career to impress others. Not because we truly follow our passions.

Pause and think about it and be honest with yourself :  what do you want to say when someone ask the question : What do you do ?

Is this really what you love to do ?

Are you living someone else dream ?

Who do you want to impress or please as an adult ? Your boss, spouse, friends, etc?

Watch the video and think about what will be your life if you could do the job you truly  love ?

Are you ready for a career change ? Contact Us and find out.

Why Incentives Do Not Always Motivate Employees ?


Maslow

Intrinsic motivation is what works once people get enough money to have their basic needs met.That is the principle of the Maslow’ Pyramid of needs.

Some people think that Maslow’s theory is not valid anymore, yet I agree with Tom Fisburne on his analysis of relation with what  brands offer, pricing and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

If we assume that we are talking about an environment where people have  enough money  for “paying the bills”, then external rewards of any types wont’ motivate people on the  long run. They will expect to get more each time and ultimately lose interest if rewards don’t increase. It is a kind of “incentive addiction”, it destroys more than it stimulates.

Any goal setting exercise should start by the end : What benefits  do you expect if you reach a specific goal ? or only half of the goal or making the efforts but not succeeding ?

Visualization of achieving a goal can help better define:  Why do you choose this goal specifically ? What benefits will you get versus the energy you invest to this particular goal rather than another ?

Read our previous article on Why people don’t Do What you Tell Them To Do “

If you don’t know why you are doing what you do and nobody tells you how you contribute to the big picture, if nobody encourages you and say thank you from time to time or if you don’t have the resources for doing your job well, then external reward only will demotivate people. I think it is impossible to make someone passionate against his or her will, but it is very easy to kill the fire within passionate people.

What Keeps YOU Motivated ?

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